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Did you know that you are enough? Here at My Divine Beauty Obsession, I am all about Loving yourself and knowing your self worth. That is why I am so grateful to introduce to you Talitha K. Tyler.
Talitha Tyler is a published author and motivational speaker. She's also the coolest mom I know as well as a childhood friend from church.
This week Talitha is talking to me about her book The Beauty In the Breakdown and how it has changed the lives of many, including myself.
Let me tell you.
True Tea.
I read this book when it was first published and after reading the first page I was in tears. I felt God all in my bedroom and at that moment I knew that this book was just for me. There were several occasions when I thought Talitha was telling my story, as if she had been with me my entire life. I went through a process of re-evaluating how am I being obedient to God and how am I glorifying him in all of my steps. This book brought up powerful emotions for me. Especially when I read it for a third time as I had to begin the process of filing for divorce this past February.
I want you to know that no matter what you are going through, you are not alone. There are approximately 7.7 Billion people on this planet going through life just like you. We are in this together and most importantly God is always by your side.
Talitha's book really touched me and I am 100% sure that you too will find The Beauty in the Breakdown.
Interview
What made you decide to write a book?
Actually God dropped this idea in my mind in 2013 and I remember hearing him clearly, telling me to write a book. I even talk about it in the book, how I laughed " Me? Write a book? About what"?
So, He kept nagging me about writing but wasn't clear about what it should be about. As the years went by the quieter I got the louder He got. It became very clear that my testimony and my story of triumph & break through is what I needed to write on. While I thought it was something small it turned out to be something very big to write on. To encourage people that no matter how it looks, no matter how bleak the situation is, there is Beauty in the Breakdown.
The book isn't big at all but I wrote until God told me to stop with a comma. As if to say there is more coming. Even with me writing this my journey still continues.
While I was writing this book I had to go back to these places and get emotional so that I could write from a place that did not come off as superficial. I had to write as if I was back in these situations so that it would carry over to the reader.
How many hours a day to focus on writing?
I started writing when the pandemic started. So when we were all at home with absolutely noting to do, other than work. I wouldn't really give a specific amount of time per day, it was just how my energy was. I had to go to these places emotionally and some days, 30 minutes was just enough time for me to write because whatever I was talking about did too much. I did try to write everyday, but I will say that around the middle of the process I had to take a few days off. It was too draining for me.
I did try to be consistent and when God dropped something in me I would get it out. I allowed the process to be organic. I didn't put too much pressure on myself. It just so happened that I finished it, I felt complete, and got it out in 2020.
What was the ultimate driving force for you to write?
I remember going to back to some of the things that I write about in the book and just feeling so alone. And I don't want anyone to feel that. I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed. Not saying that my book is going to stop you from feeling how you feel but I wanted to give encouragement that you are not the only one who has gone through these things. You are not the only one who has been sexuallly violated. You are not the only one who has had an abortion. You are not the only one who has had low self esteem or needed to be in therapy. I think I wanted to provide comfort and in that sense of realness that we women, we people, we Christians go through all of these things and when you feel alone...You know I have set in rooms with hundreds of people and still felt alone. So I think for me The Beauty in the Breakdown allows me to use everything that the Devil meant for harm and I used it for somebody elses good. If this book makes someone forgive themself for something they have done then I feel like the mission is accomplished. If this book gives somebody a way to forgive someone else then I fel like mission accomplished.
What was it like going through the process of publishing?
I was blessed. I had a really good mentor from my church. She gave me tips on which publishing companies to research and walked with me along the way. I probably would have been lost if I didn't have some one. So I will say for anyone who wants to write a book try to find someone who has been there and who can give you a road map to guide you.
How did you decide to sell the book on Amazon?
The publisher that I chose, Xulon Press, offered that in the package that I paid for. So once I paid them their set price and I get 100% of the royalties after the retailers get their portion. The package included third party retailers like Amazon, Barnes & Noble and Walmart.
After receiving your royalities, what have you blessed yourself with?
I paid off my credit card debt. Not all of it, but I put a big chunk down. And now I am just trying to save it. I also started investing in stocks. Which is confusing and a scary process, but I am enjoying the ride.
What does the Butterfly represent on your cover?
I love butterflies. The reader has to decide, is the butterfly falling apart or coming back together. You can tell that it is a butterfly and that it is beautiful even with the pieces missing. So I wanted this to symbolize that you are still beautiful as you are transforming.
As an entrepreneur, what motivates you?
Owning my voice. As a entrepreneur no one can tell you waht to write or what content to put out. You are able to be authentically you. This year the word "Authentic" is on my vision board. I can be me without any restrictions.
What are your goals as far as writing another book?
In the beginning I didn't have any goals. I thought this was going to be it. But the feedback that I have been getting from everyone is saying, "Okay, we need something else".
I did start an IGTV chat series called TT Taught You. When God drops something in my spirit I talk about self love, being patient & waiting, writing down your vision. I am using gems from the book as well as everyday musings.
I want to use this book to get infront of people and launch Motivational Speaking.
I would like for this book to become a Best Seller, but I know sometimes it takes the release of your second book for the first book to become a Best Seller. So I am open to wherever it goes. I am just trying to stay positive.
Do you view writing as a spiritual practice?
Absolutely. I am a big fan of journaling because we hold so much in here (points to head) that it needs to come out. It helps to make room to pour more things in. Writing is very healthy.
At what early experience did you learn the power of language?
At a young age I had a step parent who was verbally and physically abusive. He would make negative comments about me. So I did learn how powerful words were in a negative way at a young age.
I learned the power of positive words probably after I turned 30 when I got into therapy. I realized how I allowed all of the negativity from my chilhood and young adult life have so much power and control over me. So I began to change my own narrative and learn about the power that positive words carry. The scripture talks about the power of life and death in the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). Growing up in the church that was just a scripture but as I got older and lived, I found it to be true. People say things to you and they can shape you and be very impactful if you let them.
What does literary success look like to you?
Knowing that my words are helping somebody. Knowing that someone could be walking aroung quoting me. Knowing that I am planting seeds of positivity. That to me is successful. Hearing other people acknowedge that the book touched them in a positive way.
Do you Google yourself?
Never.
(Talitha proceeds to Google self and read reviews about her book. People said amazing things).
How has your family supported you?
My parents have been very supportive. Before the book came out I thought about how I would feel if my son wrote a book that had personal details that I didn't know about. So i set them down, because a lot of what I talk about in the book I have never told anyone except for my therapist. It was a very emotional conversation. They were supportive and excited. The ran out and bout 20-30 copies each and sold them.
I have a 20 year old son who was supportive, but he told me "Mom I dont think I can read it yet". He knows a lot about my past story now that he's older but I understand that reading it might bring up some other emotions so I'm not rushing him to read it.
Some family members like my Grandmother and Aunt who heard about the content just can't bring themself to read it. They are supportive. I am respectful of the sensitivity.
What are the top three things that you'd recommend to someone when writing or publishing a book?
Just do it. If it's already in your mind don't tak yourself out of itbecause God placed that there for a reason.
Find a coach or mentor.
Don't worry about the sales. Just be obedient and the rest will take care of itself.
If you'd like to get more information about Talitha Tyler click here.